[John Smith]

Here are all the open positions http://www.wreckamovie.com/productions/klonoafanfilm/tasksHow is the progress of the script going?

[Thorp]

I am still undecided how I want to end the traversing of the desert scene. I have however skipped over and finished the act with intent to return to the missing segment.
________________________________________
_____Stepping through the doorway was immediately refreshing. Inside, the rocky archway bordering the door had water streaming down and dispersing into small pools on the ground. Flowers and moss lavishly covered the archway and surrounded the pools of water. The sun was no longer blistering hot. Without hesitation Klonoa lurched to the nearest pool of water and began drinking. The water was perfect.
_________(steve) spoke in awe, "Lovely place."
_____Klonoa slightly out of breath from drinking, "So far this side of the door is enjoyable."
_____"Clearly," said ____(steve) squarely. "We can not stay too long."
_____Refreshed, Klonoa sat on a large nearby rock. A dense facade of trees presented itself a short distance from the door. No sound came from the trees. After a moments rest, "Okay we should get going. Just some more water and we'll set out." As Klonoa reached his hand into the pool the source above the doorway turned to ice. The ice continued to grow down the stream of water. In fright Klonoa pulled his hand out as the ice fully encased the pool and then invaded the moss and flowers that had made the pools their home.
_____Shocked Klonoa stood up and slowly backed away.
_____"We'd best get going."
_____Turning to face the trees Klonoa noticed the forest had also changed. A cold fog had moved in and covered the forest floor to waist height.
_________(steve) whispered, "We haven't time to lose."
_____"Wahoo..."
_____Entering the forest the sun provided enough light to see above the fog clearly. The fog however was chilling to the touch and thick, making each rock, root, and fallen branch an obstacle.
_____Venturing farther into the forest the trees became more dense and the air chill was beginning to have a bite. Sunlight was decaying and insufficient.
_____Many moments past and Klonoa stopped moving and looked around. "We've been walking for a long time..."
_____"Ummmm..."
_____"I can not see where we're going anymore."
_____Expecting more answers from ____(steve) Klonoa glanced at his ring in deprecation.
_____"Hmmm, hang on. Something is wrong."
_____"What is it?"
_____"I...I do not feel disconnected from my powers as much here."
_____"Are we walking the wrong way!"
_____With a nervous tone, "No, no...I must think; keep walking."
_____"It's too dark, I can't see."
_____"Right, right, um... here let me create some light."
_____The gem in Klonoa's ring began to glow with a white light.
_____Astonished, "Your powers work here?"
_____"They should not work here; something must be wrong with the ___. We must hurry and get to the element."
_____Before Klonoa could take a step he felt a chill run down his spine; the hairs on his neck stood up.
_____Noticing the hesitation, "What is it Klonoa?"
_____"Do you not sense something?"
_____... "No."
_____A high pitched faint laughter came from up ahead.
_____Raising his glowing ring and squinting Klonoa could see a faint circular blur floating an arms distance away. Klonoa, reaching out his other hand the blur giggled more loudly and disappeared.
_____"Are you seeing ghosts Klonoa?" ____(steve) asked in a bit of jest.
_____Klonoa felt a tug at his hat and he quickly placed his hand firmly to hold it down. More giggling came and Klonoa looked up to see the source. Upon looking up there was tugging at his ring, this time more forceful. Promptly looking back at his ring Klonoa saw a blue transparent floating ball with two eyes, pink tongue and two stubby arms cheerfully attempting to pry the ring from his hand. Klonoa fired a wind-bullet causing the ghost to float up like a balloon, giggling and fading away into the fog. More giggling came from all around.
_____Klonoa began running forward without comment. He could see more blurs floating by as he ran. He felt a sharp tug on his left ear which made him stumble temporarily. His right shoe became undone before he regained his balance. Coming to a stop Klonoa swatted at the ghosts all around him. The giggling and blurs disappeared.
_____Taking advantage of the solitude Klonoa crouched and refastened his shoe and made sure he still had his hat.
_____"Don't believe they want us to leave," said ____(steve).
_____Panting Klonoa replied, "Their game is probably to slow us down."
_____Standing back up Klonoa could see a bunch of transparent ghosts floating around him. Raising his ring he fired three wind-bullets dispensing the three ghosts in front of him. The other ghosts became more opaque and lunged for Klonoa's ring. Retracting his arm Klonoa dashed forward continuing through the dense forest. There was a sharp tug at his collar and Klonoa nearly fell backwards. Reestablishing a sprint he ducked under low branches and vaulted over a large rock.
_____Klonoa, using some acrobatics performed a quick spin mid-step. He fired wind-bullets at the perusing ghosts but only made contact with one. Returning to his forward run he noticed the fog was dissipating and sunlight was returning. Ahead a dense patch of bushes blocked his way. Hovering above the bushes a ghost waited anxiously. As Klonoa came within reach of the ghost he fired a wind-bullet and held onto the ghost.
_____Floating over the bushes Klonoa could see a pathway beyond. Suddenly the ghost disappeared and Klonoa fell onto a few tree limbs then onto the soft forest floor. A bit shaken and disorientated from the fall Klonoa started with a stumbling walk then reasserted a quick sprint as he followed the pathway he saw moments ago.
_____Nearly out of breath Klonoa could not hear the relentless giggling anymore. Hurdling over a fallen tree he almost ran face first into the door. ... "Finally...found it." Klonoa, continuing his haste, opened the door and stepped through.
_____Now in the next room Klonoa stood in what looked like a normal but empty wooden house interior. The next door was clearly visible a short distance away and was oddly painted with white blotches.
_____"Wha-? The room is empty? Is this some kind of trick?"
_____"Maybe it is but we do not have time to stand around," said ____(steve) nervously.
_____"Right," Klonoa affirmed. He rushed across the room; everything felt normal even the sound of his shoes against the wood flooring sounded normal.
_____Stopping in front of the door Klonoa curiously examined the white blotches which plagued the flawless facade. He raised his hand and touched a blotch at eye level. Upon pressing his hand onto the white anomaly his hand felt numb and the portions of his glove contacting the anomaly became a fuzzy blue mist. "Maybe this room is broken." Pulling his hand back to his side and peering over his shoulder there was nothing else visibly anomalous with the room. Grabbing the door handle he opened the door with caution as if something might be on the other side. Peering through the door and finding nothing hazardous he stepped through and closed the door behind him.
_____There it was, the element resting on a wooden pestle in the middle of the room. Looking around Klonoa could see the white blotches were larger and more populous but did not obstruct a straight path to the element. Not seeing any reason to suspect trickery Klonoa carefully observed the white spots as they appeared to slowly grow while he walked towards the element. The element was partially covered by one of the white blotches. It was half yellow and half a transparent blue inside the white abyss.
_________(steve) burst out with concern, "See that Klonoa, the element is being attacked!"
_____"Attacked?"
_____"Whatever is creating these white spaces is using them to consume the element; this would explain why the weather patterns have been unstable."
_____"And why the last room was empty."
_____"Precisely! Quick, take the element."
_____Klonoa reached out and touched the yellow unaffected half of the element. The element appeared to struggle as it faded away and pulled from the anomaly; the yellow mist of the element spiraled up Klonoa's arm and disappeared.
_____With relief but trailing into trepidation ____(steve) said, "Great, now let us get out of here. Go back to the previous room so we can travel to the final element."
_____Klonoa scurried back the previous room. There was a blue flash and ____(steve) was standing adjacent to Klonoa.
_________(steve), with a face portraying the definition of despair put out his hand. Klonoa grasped his hand firmly and the wooden room faded away as all the other places had.

[John Smith]

How is the progress going?

[Thorp]

I have not forgotten about the project; I contemplate it every day. I have not made significant progress because I've been putting all my mental capacity on current events of my real life.

An very short abbreviation of recent events is I have been spending the last 2, coming on 3, weekends continuing my education in Massage Therapy to reach 500 hours of training. I will be applying for an upgrade to a CMT license in a week or two. I will also be presenting my two week resignation notice to my current employer today; the position was a good experience but to keep my sanity and be who I want to be I need to move on.

Presenting my resignation to my current employer will take a load off my mind. I hope to post something soon™...as late as next Wednesday (4/16)

############################


Okay so here is the missing segment. I have not proof-read it...thought about it for a few days, typed it out this afternoon then forgot to read through it when I got home. Anyways I'll be proof-reading part 4 and part 5. When I'm happy with part 5 I'll post it here. When I'm happy with 1-5 I'll post on wattpad.

____________________________
_____Standing at the top of a sand dune Klonoa paused. His entire body felt like it was too close to an open flame. Gazing to the horizon a sense of desperation for shelter arose. But then Klonoa spotted a black spot not too far away visible just about the crest of the dunes. "There it is!" He rushed down the dune, almost tripping on the sand as he went.
_____Finally climbing up the crest of a sand dune the door was clearly visible atop a small pyramid structure. Looking down to the desert floor an old ruined sandstone town shared a boarder with the pyramid. Realizing the ruined buildings provided shelter from the broiling sun Klonoa scurried down and into the nearest building.
_____With the weight of the sun off his shoulders Klonoa righted his posture and appreciated the cooler air he was breathing. Calming his senses he glanced around the room, the glow of the desert through the windows revealed most of the space had been invaded by heaps of sand. Tables, chairs and mounted shelves were nearly overbearing. Crossing the room and peering through a window the black door could be seen over the square rooftops but a direct path was blocked by other buildings, crates and piles of sand. Uninterested in a conversation Klonoa opened a door leading outside into the town in silence.
_____There was not much to see amongst the ruins. Sand surely covered any sign of recent visitors and the condition most of the buildings were in clearly showed the town had been out of use for a long time. A slight breeze passed through the alleyways giving life to the tattered linen overhangs. The town was quiet.
_____After a few moments of wandering a sudden wind from overhead startled Klonoa. He looked up in anticipation of a linen overhang flapping in the breeze but there was nothing above. Ignoring the sound as paranoia or misjudging the origin he continued walking towards the pyramid at the edge of town. Moments later another gust of wind came from overhead. Klonoa paused and listened. A stream of sand trailed down from a rooftop ahead, feint shuffling came from rubble nearby.
_____"Are we being watched?" asked ____(steve) concerned.
[...]
_____A pile of sand erupted in front of Klonoa, a red ball with eyes, long pointed ears and stubby feet lunged toward Klonoa. Quickly shuffling sideways Klonoa evaded and jumped through the gaping hole in the wall of the nearby building.
_____"What was that!" ____(steve) asked in fright.
_____Spinning around in a bit of a panic, "I've seen these before. Don't worry I'll get us out of here."
_____More attackers appeared from all entrances of the room. Klonoa, firing a windbullet at the floor created a dust cloud blinding everyone. The dust cloud revealed a large beam of light coming from the hole in the ceiling, a pile of sand providing an easy ramp out.
_____Running up the pile of sand Klonoa escaped onto the rooftops. The black door and pyramid was clearly visible. Klonoa, running along the rooftops, easily jumped the gaps between the buildings and running along the overhang beams for the larger distances. The red attackers began appearing ahead along with green winged ones above.
_____The attackers tried to catch Klonoa as he jumped across the gaps. He was however to accurate with his windbullets and pushed the attackers away like beach-balls. Coming to a shorter building he jumped down. The rooftop was covered in enemies however upon landing the ceiling collapsed.
_____"Are you alright?"
_____"I'm- *cough* okay," said Klonoa unconvincingly. Dazed, blinded by the dust and sand in his eyes Klonoa climbed out of the rubble. He slowly climbed out of the building and back into the alleyway of the town.
_____The pyramid only a few meters straight ahead. Green flying attackers began swooping and clawing at Klonoa trying to restrain him. He began running swatting them away. Using his ring he managed to hit two with windbullets causing them to inflate like balloons unable to pursue. Using his intuition he fired windbullets at a pair of overhang support beams. The overhang collapsed and Klonoa slid underneath as the flying attackers crashed into the linen and became trapped.
_____Smiling at the effectiveness of the net Klonoa got to his feet, the green attackers flapping their wings feverishly trying to escape the netting. He had reached the edge of the town, the base of the pyramid. Dusting himself he turned and began climbing the stairway to the black door atop the pyramid.
_____Finally at the top Klonoa had a close view of the door; it was a dark black as if charred by a flame. Dehydrated and exhausted Klonoa reached out and flopped his body against the door. Taking one last look across the desert he opened the door far enough to slip through.

[John Smith]

Keep up the good work. How is your education in massage therapy going?

[Thorp]

my education in massage therapy is currently done until i seek more. 500 hrs training right now plus Exercise Physiology degree. Got my paperwork and passport photos ready to mail out on monday to upgrade my current license. I've been taking practice online exames so i can easily pass the massage business license for my city just for good measure...there have been some strange questions and terms I've never seen (i don't blame my instructors for not presenting the missing info, there's only so much time)########################
Here's part 5 revisited. I changed a few words and some sentences but that's about it. I'll be revisiting all 5 parts starting tomorrow...I think tomorrow. Proof-reading, continuity, add/remove necessary/extraneous content, sneaky spelling errors, any minor plot problems, ect. Of all things I need names for people and places but similar to picking names for video game avatars in a mmo the process of name creation is painstaking

feedback, ideas, suggestions are appreciated.
_____________________________________

Act 5

_____The blinding light vanished. Klonoa and ____(steve) appeared at the gate of an old stone and lumber city fortified by a wooden wall. A strange white glow above the rooftops radiated from deep inside the city. The air was still and provided no sense of warmth or cold.
_________(steve) relaxed his grip of Klonoa's hand. "We are at the last ___; it houses the element of hope. This city was erected here originally without the knowledge of the ___. It wasn't until the first dream traveler came and discovered it that our people learned of the __temple_s. A statue was erected in their name; the statue and element reside at the center of the city."
_____"Let's go then!"
_____"Wait...," said ____(steve) quietly as he put his hand on Klonoa's shoulder, "nobody yet knows what lies ahead. It is imperative that you understand that this city is intertwined with the element here; if anything has happened who knows what lies ahead." ____(steve) gave Klonoa a solemn look then vanished into Klona's ring.
_____Klonoa hurried to the city gate. The gate was ajar. Klonoa slipped through without making a sound. Inside the city Klonoa was standing on a large main road that provided a connection to all alleyways. Amongst the vacant roads and unattended market stands the white blotches that were present at the previous ___ were spread across the entire city like a plague. "This city is awfully quiet."
_____"Perhaps we should keep it that way."
_____"Ya, maybe..."
_____Klonoa began running down the main road that clearly lead towards the white glow on the horizon. The road cut through the city occasionally swerving around neglected flower gardens and trees that looked to have been around for centuries. Ahead the white plague was becoming more prominent and invading the main road. As Klonoa pressed onward leaving only the sound of footsteps behind he noticed the increasing appearance of blue ember-like objects within the white masses. "What do you think those are?"
_________(steve) did not reply.
_____Continuing down the road the white glow was illuminating all spaces of the city even the spaces darkest corners. Approaching a tree obstructing the straight path of the road Klonoa stopped. A collection of blue embers were situated at the base of the tree. The tree was nearly fully consumed by the white plague making it partially transparent.
_____The city quaked and Klonoa stumbled to his knees.
_____A deep whisper sounded through the city, "This world is mine. Soon all who are here in this world will be mine."
_____"Look out!" ____(steve) said in alarm.
_____Bolts of blue light whizzed past Klonoa's shoulders.
_____The deep voice returned, "Stay here and be consumed Dream Traveler. I will not fail again to the likes of you."
_____Klonoa dropped to the floor as another bolt of blue light blazed over his hat. Clambering to his feet Klonoa sprinted to corner of the house on the left side of the road.
_____Pressed against the wall the voice came again,"You can not hide from me. I have taken this city. I see all."
_____Klonoa peered around the corner as bolt of blue light ricocheted off the corner. "Woah!" Klonoa returned to pressing up against the wall. "Where are these bolts coming from?"
_____"They can come from anywhere," said ____(steve) dishearteningly.
_____"Anywhere?!"
_____"These are not bolts of lightning or objects being thrown at us."
_____Klonoa carefully looked back around the corner towards the tree. The collection of blue embers were missing.
_____"The evil is using the essence of the citizens in the city against us. Once the people here lost all hope the evil was able to take control. All that truly remains is their essence; the blue embers we have been seeing on our way through the city." ____(steve) let out a big sigh, "We must hurry. Time is running short."
_____"Wahoo." Taking a deep breath and tightening his gloves Klonoa looked back at the tree as the final piece of green faded to white. Klonoa jumped up and out from behind the building as bolt sped under him.
_____Continuing towards the center of the city in a full sprint Klonoa hurdled over a white gap in the road. He ducked to the right avoiding a bolt. Jumping over another gap he raised his ring and fired a wind-bullet, capturing a bolt of essence that was directed at him. Holding onto the essence with his ring he shuffled his momentum around the building to his left. Upon maneuvering around the building it revealed the center plaza of the city. Halting at the border of the plaza there was another quake. Holding his ground Klonoa fixed his eyes on statue which ____(steve) spoke of earlier.
_____The statue stood taller than the buildings nearby. It was a slender figure, standing with one hand pressed against the heart, elbow outward; the other arm outstretched as if offering something to the sky. The white plague had consumed the most of the statue concealing any recognizable features except the offering hand, shoulder and outcropped elbow. At the base of the statue veins of unaffected ground like the roots of a tree, stood-fast against the encroaching plague.
_____The sky was now a pure white. Surrounding buildings had become no more than outlines on a clean canvas. Blue embers were scattered amongst the outlines, a few swirled the statue as a swarm.
_____"Klonoa, I do not think there is enough time."
_____"What? Don't say that. We've made it this far. All I need to do is claim the last element, right?"
_____"...Yes"
_____"Then that is what we will do."
_____The swarm circling around the statue grew in entropy. Three embers broke from the swirl darting towards Klonoa. One bolted low and left and the second towards Klonoa's shoulder. Klonoa, evading, reared his leg back, dropped his arm to the ground and tumbled. Rolling to one knee he raised his ring still clinging to the essence from moments ago and fired it at the third bolt deflecting them both away.
_____Springing to his feet he leapt into the plaza towards the statue following the ground that still had color.
_____"Look out!"
_____Klonoa quickly pointed his ring to his right side and grabbed another bolt. Nearing the foundation of the statue he jumped and firing his ring downward thrust the captured essence beneath him and providing himself with enough height to land standing at the base of the statue. There was another quake as the plague swelled and engulfed more of the plaza.
_____"There's no way up!" said ____(steve) in a panic.
_____"We're almost there."
_____"Klonoa I don't want you to be lost forever in my phantomile."
_____Looking up through the outlines of the statue Klonoa spotted more embers amassing outside the plaza. "It's not over yet."
_____The deep voice came again, "Your agility is commendable but I have already claimed this world and everything in it; all except you Dream Traveler."
_____Klonoa's eyes glanced to his ring.
_____"Eventually your hope will run out and you will be nothing more than a puppet just like this entire city."
_____Klonoa took a step back from the statue and raised his ring towards the swarm that was advancing at an alarming speed. "I will not abandon you ____(steve)."
_____The first bolt met a wind-bullet from Klonoa's ring and was held in place. He sidestepped the next bolt and swinging with the ring and essence he batted the third and his captured embers away. Pivoting on his left and leaning back a bolt whizzed past his nose. He staggered backwards off-balanced.
_____Regaining his balance Klonoa fired another wind-bullet forward and captured a bolt moments before it collided with his chest. Looking around for more incoming projectiles he saw the previous bolts were returning for another attempt. He quickly jumped upwards then thrust the bolt he had downward giving him some extra jump height. While airborne he kicked his right leg downward making contact with another bolt to continue his assent. Pointing the ring to the left he grabbed another bolt and thrust it downward as a volley passed underneath.
_____Reaching his hand skyward Klonoa grabbed the outstretched unaffected elbow of the statue. Hoisting himself up Klonoa stood just a few short bounds away from the element. He jumped to the adjacent unaffected shoulder of the statue. His balance wavered as the available space was smaller than his shoes. His foot began to feel numb as the white plague encroached onto his shoes.
_____"Klonoa, I...I don't want you to be a part of this evil."
_____Now balancing on one foot Klonoa looked around for another bolt to use to bridge the gap to the outstretched hand holding the element. Seeing the volley of bolts nearing he jumped.
_____Noticing a singular bolt coming from underneath he grabbed it with his ring and thrust it back down, propelling himself closer to the element. Returning his attention to the volley of bolts now within reach he grabbed one and immediately threw it down. The lift he received was enough to reach the element.
_____Sailing towards the outstretched hand of the statue a bolt clipped Klonoa's shoulder sending him into a spin. Becoming dizzy there was a blue flash then the white world around him tinted with yellow then it fell into black.
_____...
_____...
_____With a large gasp for breath Klonoa opened his eyes. Looking up to the sky he winced and shielded his eyes from the sun. Amongst his heavy breathing he could feel the little blades of grass against his arm. A sense of enigma instilled in his mind; he did not know why he was breathing so heavily. He sat up.
Birds were singing and a gentle breeze was flowing through the open field. Clouds were nonchalantly scattered across the sky. A windmill could be seen in the far distance.
_____Klonoa ascended to his feet. He spun around recognizing the familiar place. His bewilderment dissipated as his mind reasoned that he must have had an unsettling dream. A thought of ____(steve) flashed through his mind. Startled he looked into the green gem of his ring still in his hand. He spun around again looking at the ground and even under his shoes. Klonoa stood puzzled, Was it really just another vivid dream?...
_____Taking a step backwards in confusion Klonoa felt extra weight in his pocket. Reaching into his pocket he heard a clank like the sound of marbles. Pulling out and opening his hands he held two transparent orbs, one yellow and one blue. Klonoa immediately clenched his fist to his heart and dropped his ring...
<Update 5/2>
I should have the story posted on wattpad by Sunday night (5/4/14) Soon™...IF I can pick names for all the name gaps. Reading through the story from start to part 4 was interesting cuz there were quite a few sneaky typos. Also found minor continuity issues. Thank goodness the errors doesn't dock points from my lifepoints like they did in skool.

[John Smith]

Keep up the good work.Hope to see the final version on wattpad soon. Also best of luck with your license.

[Thorp]

a thought/idea dropped into my mind this morning. it isn't utterly important for the story but...if I add this single dialogue statement into the current story and somehow support it then if a sequel or "inspired by" happens there would be more doors to creativity.

I know right now my story does not flow continuously like transitions in movies or music. It goes scene, scene, scene, and they hardly feel connected. Retrospecitvely to the other Klonoa games they too hardly feel connected as each "kingdom" is a completely different theme and culture. The statement I'm thinking of adding will in the future open any story based from here to be creative and not rely on what already exists.

Lastly, adding this idea is a bit last minute. However it will not change the current in any way; merely expand the possibilities in a sequel and allow for replacing the scene,scene,scene tempo for a more continuous adventure. Unfortunately this will slightly delay the end product as I must make sure continuity is maintained.

I'd like to give more information but giving more info will spoil the mystery behind how Klonoa could potentially save _____.

<Update 5/11> If only I could pick names for everything in the story

<Update 5/18> Picked names for everything. I am open to other name ideas or even a story title. But with the names I have and title chosen I will do a final read through and post by the end of Thursday. The time it takes to post on Wattpad depends on any problems I find or if I sit down and read tomorrow, or the next day or whenever. Worst case scenario is I post early next week because I will be away on a 4 day trip starting Thursday night.<Update 5/21>http://www.wattpad.com/51024736-klonoa-steps-from-dreaming

[John Smith]

I was wondering if you could license it under CC0 and also upload it on https://gobblin.se/

[Thorp]

I was wondering if you could license it under CC0 and also upload it on https://gobblin.se/

I have adjusted the copyright claim to CC0. I figured Share Alike was a more applicable and a safer choice but I suppose CC0 at least gets rid of the copyright barriers for all parties; especially for the corporate scene. Not that I expect my story to be directly used by a corp and make money but one could dream a little bit right? Honestly I did not fully comprehend the legalities of CC claims...Share Alike seemed more apt. But the OP does say CC0 requirement which I forgot about.

I can not post the story onto gobblin.se until Tuesday night. I will be away from my comp onn a small trip of mountain biking and moving furniture for a relative from one house to another.

Btw, I don't have a cover photo/poster for the story on wattpad. Any luck on poster creation?