Oh my god man. You made me think this was a legitimate CYOA, man.
You broke my heart. You broke it dun good, son.
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You know what? Screw it. I'mma pretend this is a CYOA, anyways. I guess it maybe sorta kinda is one? I dunno, I'm just gonna play along with that statement.
Your/my name is Figglydoo Moo, and we/I'm/you're delivering a package to Volk, which is under siege by Waddle Dees in tanks!