[Thorp]

Your story I want you to publish it on wattapad.

oh, um, I suppose I could write a story for the project. I haven't written anything in awhile but I'll write the first segment and see if yeah or neigh. I took the liberty of choosing 3 elements that bring balance to the phantomile. I figured for a short film 3 would be more than enough. How long is this animation anyway?

[John Smith]

10 to 15 minutes

[Thorp]

10 - 15 minutes huh; means I'll need to be a bit hasty in the story. Kinda has me worrying about making an knowledge dump...there may be a knowledge dump in this but it's what I got so far: yea or nay?

Dreams can take us to far away places,
they are not always planned or expected,
the important thing is to keep your eyes open
...
Ever had a dream you could not finish or wished would continue?

_____The air was still and quiet. There were no sounds from the trees, birds or insects; only silence. The sun was warm to the face and where he lay was soft to the touch. Klonoa lay in his dozing state content on not leaving the peace and comfort. But slowly he felt the warmth slip away across his face. He then felt something small and cold land on his forehead followed by his arm and neck.
_____Klonoa awoke to see the sun slowly being eclipsed by the partially cloudy sky. He turned and sat up to a landscape of open farmland held by boundaries of dense groves of trees. Piles of hay were strewn across in almost perfect pattern as far as the eye could see. Klonoa pondered his whereabouts as the drops of rain began to hasten in frequency.
_____"I need to get out of this rain..." Klonoa searching for cover turned around to see a somewhat large thatch-roofed building which was crossed by a well traveled road. Lights loomed from the windows and a small amount of smoke trailed from the chimney. As Klonoa climbed down from the haystack, the silence suddenly became eerie.
_____Klonoa hastily traversed the field as the rain was coming down oddly fast for a partially cloudy sky. He reached the the doorstep of the building and let himself in half drenched. He was greeted by a large dining hall with every chair filled by patrons. The room was well lit and filled with low chatter. There was however a lack a certain energy one would expect to feel in a well lit dining hall.
_____"Welcome to the Barely Inn" said a voice from across the room.
_____Klonoa turned to see a robust man behind a counter covered in empty mugs and recently used dining plates. Klonoa, now certain he had stepped into another dream slowly maneuvered his way to the counter.
_____"The name's ____, bar and inn keeper. What's your name son and where are you from? Judging from your appearance I'd say your more than just new to these parts."
_____"My name is Klonoa. I am from Breezegale. I do not know whe-"
_____"Oh do not worry about where you are Klonoa; life is a journey that is sometimes best traveled without the reins."
_____"Yes but I -"
_____"Here have a drink." The man passed Klonoa a small cup filled with water. "Now you know you are about two weeks late."
_____"Late? W-where am I?"
_____With a small chuckle, "Well my oh my that is a strange to hear from a dream traveler."
_____Klonoa mumbled in confusion, "Errr, how did...", and slightly annoyed asked, "Where am I and...what do you mean late."
_____"Well my friend you are in ________; currently half a day's walk from the Seers. And by late, well, you should ask the Seers cuz people around here do not want to hear the answer."
_____"Uhhh, okay. Thank you. And uhh, do you have any food I can have? I'm starving."
_____"Certainly, anything for the traveler. In the mean time I suggest getting acquainted with the Seers as soon as you can. One of them has been sitting in that corner for a few days now, probably waiting for you." ___ gave a small nod to the corner then turned around to tend to the cooking pots.
_____Klonoa began walking throw the dining hall now nearly silent. He could hardly ignore the sense if disdain towards him coming from the room. The fireplace was down to embers though the woodpile was well supplied. Klonoa glanced back to the bar but ____ had gone, used plates and mugs still cluttering the counter-top. The gloomy sensations from the room were beginning to pry at Klonoa's nerves.
_____Klonoa approached the table where the Seer was seated. The Seer was covered in a maroon cloak and the hood covered most of his face.
_____"So it takes more than a little bit of hope to bring a dream traveler to _____ ." said the Seer. Pulling his hood back and in a long winded tone he said, "let's hope we're not too late. My name is ____, Seer, and one of the last who still look to the future. We must leave immediately."
_____"Okay but I got some food coming and I'm starving."
_____"Dream traveler, you already know we must leave now; you may be lost...and hungry, but that does not mean you are hopeless." ____ began to glow yellow and became more radiant by the second. He reached out his arm and grabbed for Klonoa's shoulder.
_____Klonoa flinched and tried to evade but the Seer caught his hand. The glow had now become so vibrant the room had faded away along with the sound of chatter and the smell of smoke from the fireplace. "Mynaaaaa."

[Thorp]

sooo I'm not going to continue until I get some feedback. Likes, dislikes, lacking something?

[John Smith]

Why does he call Klonoa hopeless "Dream traveler, you already know we must leave now; you may be lost...and hungry, but that does not mean you are hopeless." ____ began to glow yellow and became more radiant by the second. He reached out his arm and grabbed for Klonoa's shoulder.
Also can you upload it to wattapad?

[Thorp]

For the moment it is merely a thought/statement I wanted in the story. It does need some word changes but it says Klonoa is not hopeless. The dialogue was written with the intent to speak to Klonoa and the reader similar to how super hero comics/movies try to make personally relatable ties to the audience. The Klonoa games have dialogue that first appear as simple story but at a different angle the statements can provide insight to real life scenarios. I have a dialogue theme that will unravel over time...

[Thorp]

Okay so that is the 2nd part of 4.5 sections. The next segment will be .5 to flesh out the backstory for this phantomile. Feel free to comment and give feedback otherwise it will continue with whatever mistakes I'm making. I have not done much proof reading and things are expected to change. Of all things to change it will be the dialogue and maybe how I describe the locations. I am trying to keep the story down to 10 minutes. The use of (steve) is just a placeholder for when I choose a name; it will be easy to find&replace later. I'll post onto wattpad...later...probably tomorrow.

__________________________________________________

ACT 2

_____The bright light began to fade. Slowly the sound of birds grew louder and the smell of flowers and trees greeted Klonoa's senses. Color began to reemerge and the tall cylinder objects were becoming more defined. Klonoa found himself at the edge of a dense green forest with ferns, flowers and trees flourishing and brandishing the most vibrant of color. Birds were chirping merrily and the cool wind flowed through the brush.
_____"Wha...Where am I", Klonoa asked.
____(steve) relinquishing his grip replied, "I have transported us to the first ____ of our journey. There is something here that we need to save my phantomile."
_____Klonoa looking around curiously at his new surroundings winced at the understanding that he had been pulled into yet another adventure. Klonoa took a deep breath and stood up strait, "Okay so I have to gather some artifacts to save the phantomile from an ancient evil again."
_____"Precisely. It is good to hear that you have saved other phantomiles before."
_____Klonoa confidently replied, "Yes I have been to a few other places but they have been a bit more helpful and accommodating."
_____"Don't worry, it will all make sense soon enough. However time is of the essence and we need to move on."
_____"Well what are we doing here then?"
_____"Our goal right now is to bring hope to the people. The evil threatening these lands has been around longer than people expected. We must rekindle their hope for a future." There was a pause as both Klonoa and ____(steve) stared at each other in silence. "Ahead is a waterfall that plunges into the land. What we are here for is at the bottom. My magic does not work within the ___ but I can help you wield that ring in the mean time." ____(steve) quickly became engulfed in a blue glow and disappeared into the gen faceted in Klonoa's ring. "Please walk to the clearing to your left."
_____Klonoa sighed and began walking towards the clearing. As he approached the clearing he had a sense something was amiss. The wind seemed to be slowing down and the sound of birds was becoming fewer in frequency. Entering the clearing Klonoa saw a large flow of water coming from the adjacent tree line and then dropping as a waterfall into a large naturally circular pit that was as deep as the trees surrounding him were tall. The walls of the hole were lined with foliage, moss and flowers. At the bottom there was a large pond full of fish and the water continued from the pond down into a cave.
_____Klonoa stood at the edge of the pit absorbing the natural spectacle. His eyes trailed down the waterfall to the fish in the pond. Suddenly he realized nothing was moving.
_____"Myna! What is going on! Nothing is moving."
_____"Oh they are moving; just very slowly. The power that resides here controls time. We must gather the source of power quickly. The things living here were not always slowed in time. Eventually we too will be slowed unless we remove the power from its resting place; we must act quickly."
_____Hastily Klonoa responded, "Then we haven't much time," as he began making his descent into the pit.
_____The air was cool and humid and the smells were very fresh and strong. Roots from the forest above provided many strong hand and footholds. Halfway down the roots became fewer and rocks and small bushes were the only objects available for holding. Nearing the bottom Klonoa could sense the sound of the waterfall was becoming slightly louder. Klonoa turned to see the flow of water was slightly faster than he remembered.
_____Placing his feet on the bottom floor Klonoa asked, "Where is it? The source of power is around here somewhere." A glimmer from the water caught his eye.
_____"There it is!" said ____(steve). We must go into the water and claim the artifact.
_____"Errr, we?" said Klonoa in dismay. "How about I wait at the water's edge."
_____"I can not touch the artifact. The magic books explaining how these artifacts work say only Dream Travelers can properly handle the them. Any other handling could cause the power to be even more unstable."
_____Klonoa, drooping his head and shoulders, "Of course..." He slowly approached the water's edge. He reached out with his shoe to test the water but when he made contact the water felt as hard as the forest floor. "Wha-? What is going on? How do we get down there?"
_____"Hmm, very interesting. You're the Dream Traveler, think of something before we are stuck here longer than we can afford."
_____Klonoa in a panic looked around for anything that could penetrate the water's surface. He ran out to the center of the pond, directly above the artifact. He looked around again but could not see any sticks long enough to reach the bottom or any clues. In dismay he looked down at the water again and noticed his shoe prints were still in the water. He jumped and with a thud the water beneath moved but the splash quickly slowed to a near stop.
_____"I got it!" Klonoa ran to the edge of the water and turned to face the artifact. Pointing his ring he let out a windbullet and chunk of water was pushed away. The water like last time quickly halted to a crawl. Klonoa unleashed more windbullets creating a tunnel leading to the artifact at the bottom of the pond.
_____Klonoa entered the tunnel of water and continued firing more windbullets to continue closer to the artifact. As he walked he admired the sunlight that danced through the water and the pebbles that were as soft as sand to his step. Klonoa looked up to see a kaleidoscope of color refracting from the flowers above along with some surprised fish recently exposed by the tunnel creation.
_____Reaching the center of the pond Klonoa was standing within arms reach of the artifact. The artifact, a dark blue sphere, was atop a mantle of rocks covered in algae. Klonoa pressed his hand into the remaining wall of water. The water was cold and felt like sludge and Klonoa reached up to his shoulder and grabbed the artifact. Upon touching the artifact it vanished and a swirl of blue traveled up Klonoa's arm and faded away.
_____Klonoa, a bit confused, struggled to pull his arm out of the wall of water. "Okay, I got the artifact."
_____"Excellent now let us depart."
_____Turning around Klonoa felt a cold draft. Peering forward it was clear the tunnel was closing at an increasing rate. "Myna! Time is speeding back up!" Klonoa frantically sprinted towards the tunnel entrance, pushing fish and globs of water out of the way. Dropping to a crawl Klonoa squeezed his way out of the small hole that remained.
_____Standing at the water's edge Klonoa could hear the waterfall come to full speed and the water babbling into the cave nearby.
_____In a determined voice ____(steve) said, "We must make our assent."
_____"Wahoo." Klonoa climbed out of the pit and walked back to the forest.
_________(steve) reemerged from Klonoa's ring with a bit of a smile. "Looks like we can do this after all."
_____"Yes it does," Klonoa returned with a smile.
_____"Now let us go back to town, I need to gather some things to continue our journey and I'm sure some food, rest and an explaintion is in order." ____(steve) began to glow the bright yellow again, the colors from the forest and all the sounds faded into nothing.

[Thorp]

Act 3

_____Color and shapes reemerged as the blinding yellow glow dissipated. Narrow pillars holding up a patchy surface overhead materialized. As the glow continued to fade curving and swirling lines coiled around the pillars and invaded most of the gaps scattered about the overhang. Warmth of the sun and the sound of wind passing through the garden of vines and brush grew to a peaceful tranquility. Finally the glow was gone but the expectation of color was met with a disparaged garden onlooking a mountain-scape. The vines that created the overhang and the bushes and flowers that acted as divides between footpaths were faded and lapsing to an unseen turmoil.
_____.____(steve) turned to Klonoa with a conflicted facade, "Welcome to the center of my home and my world."
_____A long pause followed as Klonoa and ____(steve) absorbed the placid subsiding surroundings.
_____"What has happened to this place?" Klonoa asked with concern. "Does this garden not have a caretaker?"
_____"This garden symbolizes the hopes and dreams of the people who live in this phantomile. Every leaf represents a person with a dream, hope, desire; no amount of extra gardening care can keep these plants alive." ____(steve) walked to a nearby footpath. "Come, we must build energy for tomorrow. Food and shelter are this way. Do you have a favorite dish? The residents who remain here may have yet to cook supper."
_____"Do you have any curry?"
_____"What is curry?" ____(steve) asked puzzled.
_____"Oh, nevermind, whatever is available is fine," Klonoa said in disappointment.
_____Klonoa accompanied ____(steve) down the footpath through the withering garden. Almost all of the leaves were shriveled and some had all but turned brown. The structure at the end of the footpath was old and about the size of a normal house. Vines ran up the walls and ferns lined the exterior. ____(steve) opened the solid wood door with ease as the hinges gave a small creaking noise.
_____The dining hall was sparse of unnecessary things. Tables and chairs were situated in an unorganized yet accommodating pattern. Smell of a newly burning fire permeated through the hall while the sun provided the last moments of daylight. ____(steve) motioned Klonoa to a table where other seers had seated themselves.
_____Klonoa drifted towards the occupied table and apprehensively seated himself while ____(steve) continued into the kitchen. Silence filled the dining area and enveloped the occupants of the table. The occupants were all wearing a maroon robe and appeared to have similar stature to ____(steve). A few low toned clangs from the kitchen broke the silence.
_____A seer at the table looked up towards Klonoa, "So Dream Traveler, I am glad to finally see you have made it safely. We were worried the first element would consume too much time. Brings a bit of hope to see you two safe."
_____After a pause another seer turned towards Klonoa, "I too am glad the element of time was gathered quickly however compared to our last visitor, you are late."
_____Klonoa uncomfortably surprised, "What does everyone mean by late? I do not fully understand."
_____The first seer replied, "This is not the first time our world fell victim to this ancient evil...Long ago the same symptoms arose; irregular weather, strange lapses of time and a diminishing sense of better tomorrows across even the most prosperous of towns. Before the ancient evil fully revealed itself a dream traveler appeared. She was kind and hopeful and against the pessimism and fear, she prevailed. Her journey was longer than anyone expected as unlike you, when she departed for the first element she did not return for weeks. Fortunately her time lost was just small enough that she defeated the evil moments before the end of our world."
_____The second seer retorted in slight aggravation, "And while it took her nearly 30 days to reclaim the elements here you are just days before our end. Anyone with hope is either a saint or delirious."
_____Klonoa uneasily slumped in his chair.
_____.___(steve) reentered the room with the tray of dinner. He placed the bowls of stew on the table. "Now you know my haste Klonoa. We had waited for the day the dream traveler would return but she never did. Every day we waited more people fell into despair...but even in the greatest senses of doubt there is still hope. Klonoa, with a heavy heart my world needs your help."
_____Klonoa re-righting himself in the chair answered confidently, "Of course I'll help; we've made it this far."
_____"If the power succeeds as it nearly did long ago the evil will consume my world and everything in it, including you. Nobody really knows what will happen. Who can imagine a world without time, life and desire?"
_____"So there are only two more elements; we can gather them in no time just like the first."
_____With a smile, "Yes, we can. First we must prepare for tomorrow. Eat and get some rest."
_____Everyone ate their fill of dinner in silence as the sun slipped into hiding behind the mountainside. Chirping of crickets occupied the dining hall as the small candles which provided the main source of light extinguished themselves. One by one the occupants of the dining hall retired for the night and Klonoa, finding his own quarters recalled a familiar situation; lying on a soft surface staring up at the stars...

[John Smith]

Good keep on writing

[John Smith]

How is the progress going?