[Tortwag]

Ohoh, boy. Happens rarely, but it's good to be on schedule 

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And there we go! The Blade Isle Arc is finally complete. A couple of things needs to be said about it. Sorry, it's a bit long, but well, this was a surprisingly rough year for me, so it needs to get out of the way. I'll enspoiler it too.

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There we go. Point is, I never stopped having fun working on this, and I don't think I will - I'm just too much of a man-child for that  Though now, before starting the next arc - which I'm still debating where it should take place in - I'll be managing another topic called Klonoa: Art of Pugiland. And, you guessed it, that's where I'm gonna start drawing concept arts for the characters, objects (and maybe places too) introduced so far to give you an idea of how they look in that crazy head of mine - I'll also put some visual references to show y'all how I got my ideas.


Anyway! That's enough writing for today. See you soon, people! I'm still available for talking if anyone's got a comment/observation/question/urge to talk, so feel free to reply either here or in Art of Pugiland. Which I'll create soon enough.
EDIT: Done :3

[SyraxAxoJaxco]

Hmmm, I think, [b]if[/b] the whole [b]battle scenes[/b] (from the previous chapter and this one) ARE [b]merged together[/b], it would be [b]a nice anime-length episode[/b]. ;D

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'Sleeping' in a sleep. And even a whole day.
Hoo boy, [b]overslept isn't good for your health[/b], dear cabbit. ;)

[spoiler=P.S: Maybe good for your dream.][i][b]Maybe.[/b][/i] :embarassed:

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[/spoiler]

Komm,
[b]such a good tense-killer[/b],
much wow. :bad_straight_face:

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Nightmare Klonoa + Vinkyrdd Suit = [i]NEW ULTRA BEAST!?[/i] :big_smile:

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That [b]wind definition[/b],
it's definitely [b]wild and juicy[/b].
But then,
Stepping [i]Wind[/i]...Stepping [b][i]Danger[/i][/b]?? :embarassed:

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Yes, he obviously needs that jacket because [b]he is becoming crazy[/b] here. :tired:
Y'know, [b]comparing to jackets for crazy-people[/b], that jacket looks identical [size=6pt]but more stylish[/size] [size=4pt]and creepy...[/size]

[spoiler=Now that I remember it, don't say that...][b]It's a reference to [url=http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gladion]GLADION[/url]'S JACKET[/b]? :O

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[/spoiler]

Whirlwind Slasher...
[b]combine it with [url=http://puu.sh/tkSXO/5c1d79ade4.jpg]Thunder Hurricane[/url][/b] and tada, an [b]OP move[/b] is created. ;)

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[b]That view of victory[/b], the crowds,
please [b]add it into your future list[/b] in your art topic! :D
If you draw it, it could be a nice artwork, really~

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So our [b]"Reaper Grip" doesn't like praises[/b], especially in crowd. [b]Tsundere mode: ON[/b].  :big_smile:

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Komm and Falgor,
ALERT EVERYBODY, [b]NEW SHIPPING FOUND[/b] [i]DUNDUDUNNN[/i] :embarassed:

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Oh well, tried to review this before weekend, but time wasn't on my side.

Anyway, dunno, but I enjoyed the fight, actually!
Maybe because epic moves from both sides?

I'm waiting for the next update~

[Tortwag]

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Glad you enjoyed the fight, though 'Twas fun to write. And yeah, I guess this was a little less one-side for N.Klonoa (but then showing Klonoa's newfound strength was the whole point of the previous part). Well, JUST A BIT LESS 



And speaking of updates, allow me to give you - and anyone else reading - one! I've started drawing for the Art of Pugiland topic, but unfortunately I have 4 exams to prepare for this coming week, so I'll be too busy for writing.
Luckily though, my updating schedule's been a bit more organized, and I know exactly where to go for the next art. So stay tuned, as the next update is probably gonna be more interesting than this one.

[Tortwag]

You have... Noooo idea how great it feels to post here again.


Hai, everyone! My Game Design's school year is finally over, so now I'm trying to get back at Life for cutting me away from my activities, lol. This next chapter marks the beginning of the next arc, as well as the beginning of my personal interpretation of Klonoa introduced in the last arc's final battle. I may FINALLY add something to the Art of Pugiland topic as well, but I'll have to - again - take things slowly to make sure I'm not TOO late with everything.


Enjoy!

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[Balneor]

Aaaaand another topic I've never seen before

Despite having never readed fanfictions seriously and entirely (I don't have a good image of them to begin with, unfortunately), because I have some time to spare, I figured I could at least read a tiny-bit of it.
I'm not an expert about litteracy, I've not even read "Vision 1-1" in it's entirety before making this comment, but so far i'ts quite solid, everything seems faithful to the serie (Or at least, the general ideas).

Now I wouldn't comment, but as I was reading, one line tickled my eye :

He proceeded to kick the two of them and they flew away in the distance, unleashing horrified screams as they disappeared in the distance.

(Situated in Vision 1-1 paragraph, just "ctrl F" to find the sentence quickly)
So maybe you saw what already is the deal with it, but here you say two times the same word. It tickles because the rest of the writing is flawless, at least in my point of view.
I would suggest to remove "in the distance" from the part "as they disappeared in the distance". But you are the writer, so do as you like.
Yes, this is a almost-insignificant problem, but since I can express myself and be heard pretty easily, I figured why not give it a try.

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[Tortwag]

You don't have to apologize, m'dear - you're doing a simple and effective nitpick, and I frequently re-read my own work to spot new mistakes.
This one has been corrected in my document - I checked just now to make sure - but not in the topic version, AKA here. I'll fix that tomorrow once I get back up.

Aside that, thank you for reading. Though I don't hope to change your opinion on Fanfictions (especially since most of them aren't that good anyway, which is why I stay away from them myself), I do believe that you'll enjoy yourself with this one.
But of course, you tell me. At least, I'm glad that you've enjoyed the first chapter and think of it as solid, as I try to keep that impression for every chapter.


Anyways, cheers, @Balneor !

[Balneor]

So I've read everything until vision 1-3, and it still is a quite solid experience.

Nothing to say aside a minor nitpick once again, situated in the same ark as mentionned above :

Vyss had said told him the exact same thing when he saved him from the members of the Beast Clan.

Was forced to use the original post, because copy and paste doesn't work on the fanfiction site (?)

But anyways. I am a French native so I may be wrong, but to me this sentence isn't right. Namely the beginning "Vyss had said told him [...]", I can't understand it. I'm not sure how to fix it, other than possibly removing one of the two verbs of the problematic sentence.
I also had 2 wonders at some points, but thoses were automatically extinguished, as I wondered around this topic a bit further.

So nice work, and I'll definitely continue reading.

[Tortwag]

@Balneor oh, you're a French native too? Quelle coïncidence! Content qu'on soit tous les deux là pour s'améliorer dans une langue qui n'est pas la nôtre.

That aside, OOOOOh, you're reading from Fanfiction, of course! Yeah don't do that, I haven't fixed everything as much as on this topic. The problem here is that I both used said and told, so yes I merely need to remove one of the two and you'll understand better.
Good to know that you're having a good time, though once again, if you have any favorite moments, something you didn't like or something you did, do mention that, too, if you have time - I assure you that helps a lot, way more than nitpicks.

As for me, I believe it is time to teleport back to the Re-Reading Station, as these basic mistakes are starting to pile up a bit too much for my liking. I'll be right back!

EDIT: 1-1 to 2-6 have been corrected for now, both here and on Fanfiction. I'll continue tomorrow, it's tedious, but as fun as I remembered :3

[SyraxAxoJaxco]

Brisk Breath...


...[i]of The Wild.[/i]  :embarassed:

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Then let me take their supposed-to-be roles here.
[b]Syrax:[/b] "[i]WHAT, YA MOOD-KILLER BUNNEHH!?? KOMM, JUST GIMME FIVE HER![/i]" :very_angry:

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Glyph Isle...Komm's Veloswift Glyph...hm.
The pattern, [b]'glyphy' enough[/b]. :bad_straight_face:

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...are you from Glyph Isle, Tortwag?
Well, [b]your[/b] "Sir Shell-Master Tortwag" [b]title[/b] seems not only [b]long but also empty[/b] so... :embarassed:

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Aww, is our bunny starting to lose her coolness???  ;)

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Nooww now.
[b]The way you plant that 'seed of problem,' I like it![/b]
I wonder; When will this seed 'grow and ripen up its fruits?' :smile2:

[spoiler]If you still haven't got it,
yeah, I'm talking about the problem with Komm's real gender here. :v

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[/spoiler]

Blue, moon-shaped earring, right only.
Empty, white teacup.
Heh, [b]too extravagant for commoners.[/b] :unsure:

I believe [b]the plot[/b] here is gonna be [b]around this girl[/b] in this world.
Cyl...Dellcydianne...okay, gotta remember.

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So, actually, which one is the right description here?
[b]Green, or [i]blue[/i] frog?[/b] x_x

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Like always, [b]Komm with his serious but mood-lifter attitude.[/b] :big_smile:
I like that "one mistake, and you're history" part. XD

[spoiler]Well, it applies to your fic as well. One mistake, and I'm history. :bad_straight_face:

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[/spoiler]

Next time, don't leave me in curiosity this long.
You might lose your readers if they're not VERRRY patient like me eekk.

[Tortwag]

1st Opinion

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2nd Opinion

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3rd Opinion

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4th Opinion

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5th Opinion

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6 Opinion

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7 Opinion

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8 Opinion

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9 Opinion

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Why yes, but it was either losing readers by taking a long, unexpected break or losing my chance at continuing with Game Design  As much as I love you guys and writinng in general, I had to make sure Life was secured for me to get back at this, but you're right in the fact that I need to get better at being consistent. But ah well! That's part of the work I need to do, too.